Cindy Gregorson on faith and life

Posts tagged ‘trust’

We Are All In This Together

Trust does not come easily to me. Having been single most of my adult life. I have had to rely on myself. Because of that I do not easily hand off tasks or responsibilities. I have this is little voice in my head that says if it is to be, it is up to me. I expect competence from myself. I need to manage my life.

And yet, this article in our Soul Leader’s materials from Warren Christopher where he talks about how dependent we are on each other causes me to think. He talks about driving down the road and how much he is counting on the driver in the other car coming at him not to fall asleep or be distracted by his cellphone or crossing over the yellow line.

My well-being is premised on a basic social contract we have made as a society about how we will live. The social contract is as mundane as you stop at red lights and go on green lights, to as complex as you pay taxes for civic and social services so that all of our quality of lives can be better. It is as simple as clean up after your pet when you walk them in public places to as complicated as the conversation we are having as a society about gun control and the right to bear arms. My well-being depends on your living within and keeping this basic social contract. We trust one another to do the right thing day in and day out because when we don’t, we all lose.

So the question I am pondering today is if each day when I go out in the world, even though we all know times where things can and do go wrong, I have to trust that I will make it to work safely, that I will not be harmed in my daily activities, otherwise I would paralyzed, how can I apply that principle to that little voice in my head? Is it really all up to me? Have I left God out of that equation? Are there not people in my life who I can trust to share the load, to help me in a pinch? I am not looking to suddenly become incompetent and needy…that would be my worse nightmare!! i don’t want to swing in the opposite direction of not trusting myself and my own abilities to accomplish things and make my way in the world. But as Warren Christopher says, how can I rely more on the good faith and judgment of others. Sharing the load, the responsibilities, the decision making…that sounds like a whole lot more fun.

What Keeps Us Stuck?

So I was listening to this Jillian Michaels podcast. Her director, Janice, was talking about how she has this image of the perfect home she will someday have, and that keeps her from inviting anyone over to her current home. She was playing all sorts of tapes in her head about people not wanting to come, her house or life not being what it should be. You get the idea.

Well, Jillian was being Jillian, and not letting Janice get away with her excuses. She told her to pick up the phone and to call a friend, on the air, and to invite her over. Janice stalled. She called the sound guy. Jillian told her call a friend now, or stay stuck. But if she really wanted it to be different, then she need to act now. Janice dialed.

It seems like such a silly thing to many of us. But for Janice, I am sure there was something underneath all of this that kept her stuck…or paralyzed so to speak.

The question for today in reading Mark 2 where four friends carried a paralyzed man to Jesus, is where in your life right now are you paralyzed? And who do you trust with your paralysis?

It is hard enough to admit to myself where I am paralyzed and why, let alone to trust someone else with my paralysis. What will they think of me if they really knew this piece of my life? Can I trust them to really want the best for me, to go the distance with me, to help me get to the place of healing even if it means challenging my perceptions and beliefs or forcing me to act outside what feels safe. And even more important, am I willing to consider a life where this paralysis might be healed? What risks are there for me in that?

So I am sitting with these questions. I don”t know if I have good answers to them yet, but what i am realizing as I reflect on my life is I have friends and family who have carried me in the past and believed in me when I wasn’t sure of myself. And perhaps that is a good starting place. To recognize I am not alone on the journey. There are people in my life who care enough about me to go the distance and I can trust that for the next step as well.